Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
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Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
there is puke in my bra ... again
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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