yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I want to make a zoo with you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
