Swine flu. Run for my life!
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
