If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
