I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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