Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Randomize
