mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
