i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize