it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Randomize