Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
