Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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