Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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