Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
