There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
