First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
