I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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