how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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