This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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