I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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