I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
