Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
