Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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