am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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