I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
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It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
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btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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