The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
