last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
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Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
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Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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