yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
