You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
