whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i came on her dog
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
