Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
