hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
