Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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