Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
