The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
