The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Let the clothes fall where they may.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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