i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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