I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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