I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
