I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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