By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
