I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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