Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I need moral support for this bender
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
