Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
