yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
