when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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