i may or may not be watching the land before time
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
