oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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