so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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