...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
