it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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