Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
