considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
i now understand why vodka
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
