Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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