your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I think my fart just growled at me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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