is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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