But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
