im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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