dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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