Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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