420 ftw
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
