Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
