I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
