Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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